Acridophobia

It has a name. The insane, irrational fear that I feel when coming into contact with a grasshopper or one of it's freakish cousins, the crickets, or worse the katydids. Apparently, this fear also includes locusts, but I wouldn't know, having never seen one that wasn't an empty shell perched on the trunk of a tree. I wasn't scared of those, but the living bug might be a different story. I am too much of a scaredy-cat to google the image of one to find out.

Last night, a cricket managed to find its way into our house. I spied it late in the evening, lounging on one of my curtains. I thought it might be a roach and neared the window for a closer look, bent on identifying, and promptly squishing the intruder with my flip-flop (world's best bug killer). Kevin observed as I was nearing the window that it seemed like more of a cricket. I froze... "really?" Fear. Of the intensely irrational kind. I slowly moved toward the curtain for confirmation. Yep, cricket. I skittered to the bathroom and locked the door, Kevin's chuckle following behind me. He smacked the cricket, but said it was possible he had just knocked it off the curtain, and not actually killed it. I went up to bed, then-- it seemed like the perfect time.

Cricket forgotten this morning, I went about my day. I made breakfast, grocery shopped, did the dishes, and then filled up the little plastic pool we have for the hot Texas months, turning the boys loose into the backyard to prepare lunch. Judah popped his head in at one point, and I looked down at the floor, ready to shoo him away for dripping water into the kitchen, when I saw it: there, on the floor (and very much alive) was the cricket from yesterday. Icy fear again clutched my heart and my eyes widened. "Judah, look! (gulp) A cricket!" Judah grins, and looks down. I weigh the options, now... ask my 4 year old to kill it (Oh, how much of a wuss AM I?) Kill it myself? (Grimace...) Leave it alone and give it a wide berth? (Most unlikely option). I quickly opted to kill it myself. With surprising speed I grabbed a flip flop, and with what was part battle cry, part terrified, girly shriek, I leaped at the cricket and smashed him with my shoe, jumping backwards about 5 feet very quickly just in case I missed him. I needn't have worried. With the amount of force I put behind that swat, that was the flattest bug I have ever seen. VICTORY!!!

Take, THAT acridophobia!